...one of the perils of the internet is peoples tendency to announce that they are either "autistic" or suffering from "aspergers" usually in what amounts to an excuse for the social shortcomings. my life has been, is and i am guessing will always be a motherfucking garden of failed social interaction, repetetive behaviors, abject obsessiveness, self doubt and insecurity...yet i have always opted on blaming myself for this instead of some shadowy internet bastardization of real mental challenge...
the picture above is of a "hug box." its a contraption for autistic children. evidently the feeling of pressure that this creates causes a soothing effect in these kids (reminding them of the comfort the womb)...why am i blogging about this? i guess because since i was a child i have been creating similar devices to soothe myself (while not as elaborate): cocoons of sheets, I have jammed myself in tight corners, hid behind furniture, under tables, etc...it relaxes me. makes me feel safe from the outside world, from other children/adults...its a place that is terminally warm...
i can't say what i feel. so i won't. i can't enunciate the respect that I have for the familes of these children nor the awe that their children leave me in. so i won't. all i can say is that for the flicker of a hundreth of a second i can relate to a small flake of their life...
